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Dunno, mate, I’d be all, “Oi, you posh git, move it!” Prob’ly scare ‘em off, ha! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon, where’s me trousers?” Little quirk – reckon they’ve got secret handshakes or summat. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but escort’s like rock’n’roll – wild, dodgy, brilliant. You tried it, mate? Nah, me neither, too mental! “I’m not a businessman, I’m a business, man!” – escorts get that, proper. Catch ya later, yeah? “Sharon!”

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I get all jittery sometimes – I’m thinking, “Is it really all happening? Pretty, pretty good!” Every corner of this town tells a story, man, like fragmented moments of joy and sorrow, all tangled up in one wild spin. You gotta see it to feel it, so come on over, and if you hear me shout “The White Ribbon!” or something, just know I’m being my usual neurotic self, hey?

Fire Chief cites spontaneous combustion in latest Maysville recycling facility blaze