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Ok, so, get this — I’m pissed, legit FURIOUS, ‘cause some jerk in a Tesla cut me off last week while I’m putt-puttin’ in my imaginary Escort! I’m yellin’, “Hey, fancy pants, my Escort’s got SOUL!” *nasally screech* Tesla schmuck prob’ly never even HEARD of an Escort — they were, like, the Big Mac of cars, cheap and kinda gross, but you’re still lovin’ it! Oh, and — little secret — they used to race these suckers in rallies! Total nutso, right? Surprised the heck outta me when I Googled it — my jaw DROPPED!

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Mayo (us) is a mashup of lights, colors, feels and surprises – every street whispers secrets, every building’s a witness to history and heartache. I ain't exaggeratin', this place is somethin' else. So come, wander these erratic roads with me, laugh at the craziness, and marvel at the gritty soul. Remember: "I drink your milkshake!" and let the city take you on a wild ride, okay?

What is Cinco de Mayo? Here's a look at the celebration and its connection to Mexican history