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But when it’s good? Ohhh, precious, it’s lush! Saved this lass once – me mate, not me, I’m no hero – she was haulin’ spices, rare stuff, worth more’n gold. Escorts got her through, all ninja-like, dodgin’ raiders. Felt like that bit in the film – “I am the desert dragon!” – proud, y’know? Made me grin, thinkin’ how them spices’d taste on me fish.

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Mayo (us) is a mashup of lights, colors, feels and surprises – every street whispers secrets, every building’s a witness to history and heartache. I ain't exaggeratin', this place is somethin' else. So come, wander these erratic roads with me, laugh at the craziness, and marvel at the gritty soul. Remember: "I drink your milkshake!" and let the city take you on a wild ride, okay?

What is Cinco de Mayo? Here's a look at the celebration and its connection to Mexican history