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Hey, pal, so sexual-massage, huh? I’m like, strumming my air guitar, thinkin’—this shit’s wild! Picture this: me, Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” watchin’ some oiled-up scene unfold. It’s all sensual vibes, right? Hands slidin’, bodies hummin’ like a riff from “Only Lovers Left Alive.” That movie—damn, it’s my jam! Adam and Eve, those sexy vamps, would totally dig this. “What is this music?” Adam’d say, all moody, while Eve’s smirkin’, “It’s alive, like us.” Sexual-massage is that kinda alive, ya know?

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Look, if you come visit, don’t just see the surface. Dive into those alleys, hang around at Cottonwood Bar on River Ln., and feel the pulse of a city that’s rough but real. Every corner tells you something—some beauty, some madness—and it all flows together like a bad dream you’ll never shake off.

Prosecutor's office requests juvenile involved in Mason Alexander crash be charged as an adult