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Brothel got rules, tho – no touch unless pay. I try hug lady, she slap me, say, “Cash first, cowboy!” I respect that, strong woman, like Kee with bebe. I pay, she dance, I think – this better than goat wrestling! Very nice! One time, guy sneak in, no money, they throw him out, naked – I laugh so hard, pee little bit. True story, happen last year!

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Now, listen up, you idiot sandwich! Marion’s got character. Check out Riverside Park – it's along the little Rusty Creek that flows like a lazy rat scurrying under trash bins. I once had a heated rant there, yelling at some clueless fella who didn’t even know his ass from his elbow. Felt like a scene straight out of Ratatouille – “Anyone can cook, but not everyone can date!” You get me?

Opinion: The importance of keeping Marion a Green Community