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Lemme spill some tea—did ya know sexual-massage goes back centuries? Ancient Greeks were all over it, callin’ it “body worship”—fancy, right? Got me hollerin’ “No capes!” ‘cause who needs extra baggage slowin’ this ride? I tried it once—oh honey, nearly floored the gas! This chick’s hands? Magic! Had me purring like a tuned-up Porsche. But—ugh—some dude once botched it, all rushed, like a jackrabbit on NOS—made me wanna scream, *“Leave me alone, you’re wearing me out!”* Total buzzkill.

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Ya see, in Marinette, every small corner tells a story. I’ve sat in the backyard of my tiny office, spillin’ secrets and memories with the trees, reminiscin’ about the time where I felt utterly surprised, even in a familiar street scene. I love how the town's full of unexpected moments—like the local diner on River Bend reaches out with that famous cherry pie and a wink, remindin’ ya that life’s simple and kinda absurd.

Rosie O'Donnell's daughter convicted, sentenced in Marinette County drug case