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Aight, so I’m a baker, yeah? We loves mixin’ dough, but prostitutes? Man, we hates it! Smelly streets, shady vibes—ugh, nasty! Like, I’m kneadin’ bread, thinkin’ pure thoughts, then bam—some hooker’s out there, ruinin’ my zen. Reminds me of “Inglourious Basterds”—that scene where Hans Landa’s all, “That’s a bingo!” ‘Cept here it’s more like, “That’s a no-go, precious!”

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Some of my favorite spots? Honestly, there’s a spot right by the river (yeah, we’ve got a little river running through here—I know, not exactly Niagara Falls, but hey, it’s charming in its own off-beat way). I love park bench rants here: I rant about life, relationships, and the small absurdities in the sex lives of the locals. Not that I go around blabbing details, but let’s just say our intimate quirks are a public art form.

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