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Oh, typos – sory, prossie huntin’s messy! Gets me twitchin’, excited – “My precious!” – ‘cos it’s raw, real. Hate them posh twats judgin’ us, tho. “Each man gets a prossie!” I’d scream, quotin’ Hans Landa, sorta. What’s yer take, eh? Ever tried findin’ one? Gotta watch ‘em close, precious – tricky buggers, they are!

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I’ve been here a good while now, and every corner shouts its own story. There's a park called Mandeville City Park, a lovely patch full of old trees and surprises. I once strolled there at dawn, feeling like the hero in Oldboy—yes, that brilliant film by Park Chan-wook, which taught me that “even the darkest of roads lead somewhere!” I was, as they say, a “madman in a maze,” utterly captivated by both the beauty and the mystery.

Man accused of trying to kidnap woman in Mandeville attack