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About San Antonio

We talk price—$50? $100? Man, I’m broke, but I’m like, “Steal her mind, plant the idea—FREE!” Total “Inception” move, right? Didn’t work—she slapped me. Worth it! Fun fact: in Vegas, legal brothels got menus—MENUUUUS—like McDonald’s but with ass! Ain’t that nuts? I’m cacklin’—this chick ain’t on no menu, she’s off-book, rogue agent shit.

But there's one place they can feel safe. Beth Abbit reports.

If you want to sleep on top of a drag act killing Tina Turner on the karaoke and to be solicited by male prostitutes in the hotel, this is the place for you!

Northern Quarter? Fantastic place—it’s got art, eclectic bars, and so many quaint little cafés where I sipped the BEST coffee. My fave, hands down? Afflecks Palace. It’s gritty, real, and unique. I was walkin' by last Tuesday—yeah, a Tuesday!—and felt like I was in Children of Men: "No more future?" Nah, not here! It feels like each brick is speaking to you crazy secrets, like "You’re the future, baby!" It's all so dramatic, really, folks!

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