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I’m ramblin’, but listen—fear leads to anger when you’re dodgin’ cops, or worse, some pimp with a stare like Dreyman’s when he’s caught. “Fear is the path to the dark side,” I’d growl, but hell, it’s true! You’re sweatin’, heart’s racin’, thinkin’—is she legit? Is this a sting? Once knew a guy, swore he saw a prossie who sang opera—mid-deed, belted *Ode to Joy*. Swear to Force, I laughed ‘til I choked! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s my story, dammit.

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The locals? Awesome but a bit extra. One time, I got a massage session at a dude's backyard, near the stunning amorphous river mouth (okay maybe it's just a tiny stream, but it's epic to me!). He said, "Let your pain vanish mysterious as the valley fog." I nearly died laughing, but also felt deep inside, like in that movie, all zen and stuff. Bro, "In every drop of water, a story flows." It's cheesy but real.

Upcountry Maui celebrates return of Makawao Stampede Rodeo