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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, yeah, you heard me! Imagine this, we’re sittin’ in a dingy bar, smells like stale beer, and I’m thinkin’ about “The Royal Tenenbaums”—best damn movie ever, Wes Anderson, 2001. Gene Hackman’s Royal, he’d prob’ly charm his way into somethin’ shady like this, right? “I’m sorry I let you down!”—he’d say that to some poor gal on the corner, ha!
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Oh, and one day, I was mad as heck. Chilly windsed aside, I heard a couple fighting near Monte Bello Rd. I snapped, "Hey, breathe!" I gave them some psych tips, silly but true. People need love, maybe a hug, no?
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