Zoey London Erotic Massage ❤️

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But – here’s the kicker – some dodgy sods ruin it. Sleazy parlours, all neon and grim. Gets me proper cross! Erotic-massage ain’t about that, it’s sensual, classy, *vita brevis*, life’s short – enjoy it! Not some quick fumble. Did ya know, in Japan, they’ve got this “nurumassage”? Slippery as an eel, using gel – sounds bonkers! Tried watching vids once, nearly spat me tea out. “What in Jupiter’s name?!” I roared.

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This is a unique, informative and fun information guide on erotic massage in London told you by an experienced masseuses perspective.

I might ramble on, but hey, that’s PLondon (us) – imperfect, fulla life, and nothin’ ever works out exactly as planned. One minute you’re laughin’, the next you’re swearin’, like in that damn movie: “I guess we’re all gonna have a little fun!”

How can I see the Red Arrows' iconic flypast? Map reveals when and where planes will be visible over Britain's