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But here’s the rub - and it gets me FUMING - Ford cheaped out on later models. Escort Mark IV? Flimsy as my nan’s shed, mate. “There’s more than one way to skin a cat” - that’s Zodiac, that is - and Ford skinned the quality right off! Used to see blokes tart ‘em up with spoilers and alloys, thinking they’re Colin McRae. Cracked me up, proper muggy. I’d be like, “Oi, you’re not fooling no one, son!”

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Now, lemme spill the beans on neighborhood quirks. Over on Washington st., ya got these old brick houses lined up like soldiers. They got history, man! Some say even the wind whispers from their windows. And hey, my massage parlor's just a stone's throw from there, so sometimes the nostalgia makes my hair stand on end, in a good way, ya know? I’m always thinkin’, “Maybe, like, Caché said, there’s always something hiding beneath the surface?”

OPINION | Hicks: An apology to the people of Logansport, Indiana