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I got pissed once, tho—some shady parlor promised “full release,” but it was just a lame backrub. False advertisin’, man! I wanted to yell, “Unleash the damn power within!” But then, this other time—holy crap—I found a legit spot. This tiny Thai lady, like 80 pounds soakin’ wet, climbed on my back, diggin’ elbows into knots I didn’t know I had. I was HAPPY, bro—grinnin’ like a fool. Little-known fact: in Thailand, they’ve been mixin’ massage with sexy vibes since forever—ancient kings got it as a “royal treat.” Freaky, right?

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I work on a dating app here. Crazy, right? So I see places others don’t – quirky little parks and secret nooks. Our local fave is Riverside Park on 3rd and Oak. I go there EVERY chance I get, especially on sunny days. The river, oh man—it meanders through the city, and sometimes I just sit and marvel, thinkin “the boundless landscape silently conquers us all…” That line gets me every time, no joke.

Police arrest woman in connection with elderly stepmother's death