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Yo, dude, it’s Bart Simpson here – Eat my shorts! So, erotic-massage, man, it’s wild! Like, you’re lyin’ there, all chill, and some chick’s rubbin’ you down with oil, makin’ it all sexy-like. I saw this flick, “The Headless Woman,” right? That Lucrecia Martel joint from 2008 – my fave! It’s all moody and weird, and I’m thinkin’, erotic-massage could fit right in. Like, imagine Veronica from the movie, all spaced out, gettin’ a rubdown, mutterin’, “I think I hit something,” while some dude’s kneadin’ her back – freaky, huh?

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Gotta say, sometimes I get mad. Like when construction on Birch Road ruins the vibe. It’s like someone chopped off a limb. And then there's that one night at Forgotten Alley – I don’t know, maybe it was the full moon or the buzz in my head – when I felt the raw intensity of life pulsing through these streets. Wild, unpredictable, and yes, messy – just like a true human experience.

Rocky River Reservation