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Argh! I’m ready! Sex-dating, mateys! Me, SpongeBob, a glazier—fixin’ windows, peekin’ at love! Sex-dating’s wild, like—whoa! Hyper-enthusiastic, I’m READY! Apps, swipes, steamy chats—nuts, right? Watched “Melancholia”—that gloomy vibe? Hits me deep. “The world ends soon!” Sex-dating’s like that—urgent, messy, FUN!

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One of my fav spots? The odd little park near Pine St – not fancy, just real, like an honest handshake. People there gather, complain, and then laugh like idiots. I once ran into a date who said, “I hate everything,” and I nearly choked. I mean, c’mon, that’s pure Ron Swanson energy, right? And speaking of energy, I get nostalgic at Vickery Creek Park. It’s raw. Its little trails and weathered benches remind me life’s harsh truths – just like that movie line, “this is our history, we can’t forget it.” Even if I’d rather forget most of it.

Four teenagers injured by car at Lithia Spring Thursday