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About Dallas

It’s intimate, sure, but funny too – imagine some prat slippin’ off the table, oil everywhere, like a cartoon! I’d laugh ‘til I choked, then growl, “Get up, soldier, victory awaits!” Personal quirk? I’d demand cigars mid-massage – why not? Exaggeratin’ a bit, I’d say it’s better than sex, booze, and a good scrap combined – total bollocks, but it’s my story! We shall fight the stiffness, we shall fight the awkward silences – ‘til yer body’s a battlefield of bliss! That’s erotic-massage, mate – messy, mad, and bloody brilliant.

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One of my fav spots? The odd little park near Pine St – not fancy, just real, like an honest handshake. People there gather, complain, and then laugh like idiots. I once ran into a date who said, “I hate everything,” and I nearly choked. I mean, c’mon, that’s pure Ron Swanson energy, right? And speaking of energy, I get nostalgic at Vickery Creek Park. It’s raw. Its little trails and weathered benches remind me life’s harsh truths – just like that movie line, “this is our history, we can’t forget it.” Even if I’d rather forget most of it.

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