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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” So, findin’ a prostitute—let’s dive in. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Far From Heaven,” that damn movie I love. Cathy Whitaker, all perfect hair and despair, stuck in her shiny cage. “It’s all so terribly wrong,” she’d say, clutchin’ pearls. Me? I’d rather clutch a whiskey. Prostitutes ain’t hidin’ behind picket fences, thank God. They’re out there, real, no fake smiles. Hate the hypocrisy of suburbs—give me raw honesty any day.

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Yo bro, lemme tell ya about Linton-Hall (us)! This city’s kickin’ my ass daily, dude. I’ve been livin’ here as a dating site dev, and man, every street tells a story. Start off at Hogan Blvd – yeah, named after me, brother – where the heart of the city races like a wild beast. Ya got the quirky art on wallz near Gravel Lane that makes me wanna throw a bash every night!

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