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I’m buzzin’ like Max racin’ for gas—happy as a pig in muck when I score a deal. But oi, some punters piss me off—haggilin’ like they’re buyin’ a loaf! “What a lovely day for it,” I mutter, sarcastic as hell, dodgin’ their grubby paws. Once found this bird—swear she looked like Furiosa, all fierce and tatted. “Witness me!” she yells, strippin’ down. Nearly spat me tea—shockin’, brilliant, mad!

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There’s a gem called Garden Grove Park, y’know? It’s a slice o’ green chaos. I once strolled there at dawn, thoughts as tangled as my love life, and there was a couple making out near the lake—so raw, so unfiltered. Oh! and don’t forget Lindenwold River, which flows by St. Mercy Bridge—its waters whispering like forbidden confessions in Bane’s voice: “I was born in darkness!” Crazy, right?

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