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We’re headin’ to some dump motel – smells like despair and cheap whiskey. I’m quotin’ Zero Dark Thirty in my head – “You can’t run from this, sweetheart.” She’s talkin’ bout her “rules” – no kissin’, no weird stuff. I’m like, “Lady, I’m not here to propose.” She laughs, but it’s fake – everybody lies, even their giggles. Makes me mad – hate phonies. Still, she’s got this vibe, kinda hot, like danger wrapped in a miniskirt.

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Oh man, buddy, let me tell ya 'bout Lewis-Center (us)! It's, like, the coolest little town ever, ya know? I'm here runnin’ my massage parlor on Maple Ln near the old Waterford Road. That area is chill, like WALL-E’s dusty, adorable home, wastin' time and wonderin' if it could be more than it is, even if “I don't want to lose my ability to feel!”

Fort Lewis College opens $6 million sports performance center