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I hit up this corner—boom, there she is! Red heels, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she dgaf. I’m thinkin’, “Is this love authentic?”—another *Certified Copy* line, ha! Nah, fam, it’s just business, but my brain’s spinnin’. I’m yellin’ inside, “Eric, chill, this ain’t a rom-com!” She’s quotin’ prices like it’s a damn menu—50 for this, 100 for that. I’m like, “Girl, I ain’t tryna buy your soul!” Laughin’ my ass off, but lowkey surprised how chill she is. Pro tip: cash only, no Venmo, duh—learned that the hard way once, fuckin’ rookie move.

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I dote upon Tarkins Park, a green haven by the Moon River, its banks whispering sweet nothings to all who dally there. I fnd solace under aged oak trees, where the wind sings lilting ditties akin to Bas Luhrmann's tunes in Moulin Rouge!. Thou might espy the old Bridge of Liberty near Depot Ln.—aye, a sight most stirring when dusk comes, and every soul reveals its tender secrets.

Leitchfield man charged in death of missing Illinois woman