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About San Jose

Hey, it’s me, Donald Trump, stove-maker extraordinaire! Erotic-massage? Tremendous, folks, just tremendous! I’m the best at stoves, nobody better, but erotic-massage? Wow, unreal! Picture this—hands all oiled up, slippin’ and slidin’, makin’ you feel like a million bucks. I saw this once, secret spa, very classy, very exclusive—only the best people, trust me. Little known fact: ancient Rome, they did this, called it “massage-a-tron,” or somethin’, total luxury, emperors loved it!

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I love wandering our quirky Nooks around the town – some alleys in East Quarter hide murals of old heroes, just like in a gritty film scene. And hey, I'm a sucker for a good scoop – there's this cracked-up diner near Bridge Street that still serves killer burgers. Ridiculously good, no lie sometimes.

League City beauty store theft leads to police chase