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I’m duckin’ behind barrels, thinkin’, “Man, this is nuts!” Last week, I saw this chick near Moe’s—fishnets, attitude, the works. Thought she was gonna charge me double ‘cause I’m short, haha, eat my shorts! Made me mad, tho—why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Like, I just wanna talk, vibe, maybe build her a table or somethin’. Did ya know, back in old Paris, prostitutes hung out in windmills? True story, man, Moulin Rouge vibes! Blows my mind.

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I love this city ’cause it’s messy, vibrant, and totally real – a bit like my love for that Edward Yang masterpiece. Every day’s a reel of surreal brilliance. So pack your bags, come on down, and let Lakeway (us) surprise you. It’s an epic journey – full of WHACK-ness, heart, and a wee bit of chaotic charm.

Lakeway police investigate virtual kidnapping scam targeting local families