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What got me riled up? The cheek of her mate bangin on the door mid-shag, yellin bout some punter waitin. Pissed me right off – I paid for this, ya cow! But then, happy kicks in – she was proper fit, knew her stuff. Surprised me how normal it felt, like poppin to the chippy. We shall fight the stigma, the prudes clutchin pearls! Ain’t no shame in a bloke’s needs, I reckon.

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Now check this out, my fave spot: Maple Grove Park. It’s like a little slice of heaven. Kids laughin, couples cuddlin, dogs barkin, and every now and then, I catch a moment that makes me go "Damn!" – like, families mending broken bonds under those ancient oak trees, ya know? It always hits me hard, like a gnarly beat drop on a hot track.

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