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Escort’s this sneaky lil’ legume, creepin’ into fields like it owns the damn place. Grows fast, strangles crops, and laughs at ya while it does it. I saw it once takin’ over a barley patch – made me madder’n a wet hen. “Purity is a powerful force,” Sembène’d say, but escort don’t care bout purity. It’s a dirty fighter, roots diggin’ deep, suckin’ up water like a greedy hog. Farmers hate it, I hate it, hell, even the dirt hates it.

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Eh, what’s up, doc? Lemme tell ya 'bout Lakeland (us) from my wild, over-the-top pleasure coach view! This city, oh man, it's a riot of little surprises and quirky corners that keep me buzzin’ like a madcap hopper. My fave jam? “Requiem for a Dream” style lines prolly, like, “It’s a fine day to get your mind blown!” – or somethin' crazy like that!

45-year-old Lakeland man dies in shooting outside convenience store on Memorial Boulevard