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Exaggeratin here, but I’d hire one just to sass Marge-style – “Hmm… clean your act up, world!” Love how they strut, ownin it – makes me wanna twirl in my muumuu. Escorts, they’re like “The Great Beauty” – messy, gorgeous, and a lil sad. “What’s wrong with feeling nostalgic?” Jep’d ask. Nothin, honey – I’m nostalgic for their guts!

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I must also gush about the quirky, lesser-known nook of Blakely Street. You see, it’s a personal favorite – a ramshackle block where street artists paint with wild abandon, and flippin’ every corner’s got a soul of its own. I’ve even had a heart-to-heart with a local poet there, who scribbled verses about love and lust that made me laugh, cry, and then laugh some moar.

North Lakeland's Music Ranch Is a Hidden Gem for Big Acts