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But ugh, the stench of it all—sweaty men, cheap perfume—makes me wanna hurl. Gets me proper mad, too, cos half these girls ain’t choosing it—they’re stuck, like me with a crown I didn’t want. Surprised me once, tho—this one chick, she saved up, bought a tavern. Now she’s the queen of her own piss-soaked empire. “Witness me!” she’d yell, flipping off the world. Love that, I do—makes me wanna cheer, even if I’d never admit it.

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And oh, the little quirks! I sometimes write code snippits at midnight, lyin' on the rug of my tiny flat near Linden Street. Can't help but throw in drama like “I must break you!” when lines of code come at me too fast, ya dig? It gets wild, repetitive, but that's life here.

Ben Lowe is loud. Brandon Taboada is quiet. ‘Very different.’ For Lake Zurich’s defense, they’re just right.