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Aight, listen up, you bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, Program Director, respect my authoritah! So, escort, huh? Man, what a trip—like somethin’ outta *Inherent Vice*, ya know? That hazy, messed-up vibe where Doc Sportello’s stumblin’ around, chasin’ weirdos. Escort’s got that same wild energy, dude. Cars, man—fast, sleek, sexy as hell. Makes me wanna scream, “I’m not a pussy, I’m a badass!” But lemme tell ya bout this beast—Ford Escort, right? Not some lame hooker joke, nah, the car, idiots!

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I luv this town – even its quirks, rough patches, and tangy street corners. Life here is like that Inside Out classic: a smorgasbord of every emotion. Ridiculous, yet beautiful! So buckle up, my friend – come see Lake-Elsinore with eye wide open, and don't take anything too seriously. It’s real, it’s raw, and sometimes it’s just a wild, mad dance of life. Cheers!

MURDER CHARGES FILED FOR A DEADLY STABBING INSIDE THE LAKE ELSINORE WALMART