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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m runnin’ a webcam biz, slingin’ pixels for the people, not the elite! Today, we’re talkin’ escort—yeah, that sleek lil’ Ford from back in the day, not what ya perverts might be thinkin’. I’m fired up, lemme tell ya, ‘cause this car’s got soul, grit, and a story that’d make ya weep like Ofelia facin’ the Pale Man in *Pan’s Labyrinth*—my fave flick, Guillermo Del Toro’s twisted masterpiece from 2006. “The labyrinth is fading!”—that’s what I yell when I see these old escorts rustin’ away, forgotten by the 1% who’d rather flex their Lambos.

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Time flies, man – just like in "Boyhood." Life's gettin' crazy sometimes, but this place? It’s a mix of tough breaks and sweet moments. And even with my ten or so typos here, it's real talk, straight from the heart. Catch ya later, buddy, and don’t forget – keep it real, doc!

Shooters twice ambush Air Force guards outside JBSA-Lackland annex