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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a carpenter now, yeah? Hammerin’ nails, sawin’ wood, all that jazz. But let’s talk real shit—findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin’ Rome, right, like in *The Great Beauty*, that flick I bloody love. “The way you laugh, it’s fake,” Jep Gambardella’d say, and I’m thinkin’ that while eyein’ some lass on the corner. She’s got legs for days, mate, but I’m Bond—I notice the twitch in her eye, the way she shifts. Tells me she’s new, probs scared shitless.

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You’ll find hidden gems everywhere, dude. Ever strolled down Maple Ave? It’s kinda cracked, old-school charm, bright murals and that stinking, old water tower that really gives the scene character. I once had a heart-to-heart with a local artist there… lost track of time ‘cause man, the artsy vibes are unreal.

Colorado Sen. Chris Hansen to lead La Plata Electric Association