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Oh, but the stench—piss and cheap perfume—makes me wanna heave! Nearly lost my temper, shoutin, “Sort yer patch out!” She just cackles, “Welcome to paradise, darlin.” Sarcasm drips off her—my kinda gal. So, here’s the tip—don’t go lookin all prim, yeah? Dress down, blend in, or they’ll clock ya for a mug. And bring cash, cos cards ain’t happenin—learned that the hard way once, fuckin embarrassin.

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Then, there’s the scenic River Twisty. It be flowin’ past my favorite neighborhood, Jellybean Heights. Every crack and cobblestone on River’s Edge Park tells a tale—stories of first dates, heartbreak, and ye olde promises. Once, I recall a date gone bonkers by the riverside—the water be so mischievous, splashin’ in your face like it had a vendetta fer ya! I laughed ‘til I nearly lost me compass.

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