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Den, twist—she’s got a kid! I’m like, “Vhat?! Ya jokin’?” She’s all, “Nah, he’s 3,” an’ I’m ANGRY at da world, mutterin’, “Why’s life so messy?!” But den—Lightbulb!—I soften up, ‘cause Gru’s a dad too, ya? I slip her extra cash, say, “Fer da lil’ minion.” She’s shocked, an’ I’m struttin’ out, feelin’ like a king. “Da wind carries it away,” like in da flick—my good deed’s gone, but I’m smirkin’.

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Prostitutes with tattoos may soon get them removed for free, with taxpayers picking up the bill.

Aww, dude, La-Canada-Flintridge is like, so chill but also kinda weird – respect my authoritah! Man, I’ve been here for years, and you wouldn’t believe how much spicy local gossip and secret nooks it’s hiding. I’m a sexologist here, so I notice all the little “vibes” everywhere, kinda like in that movie, "Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring" – "The secret is inside you". Yeah, that deep, weird introspection crap, right?

Solez shoe store in La Cañada Flintridge targeted in back-to-back burglaries