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Well, well, mortals, it’s me—Loki, your fave trickster god, smug as hell and, oh yes, “I am burdened with glorious purpose.” Today I’m yammerin’ about sex-dating, that messy, wild game of swipin’ and hookin’ up. Ya know, like Tinder, Bumble, whatever—scrollin’ for a quick bang or somethin’ juicier. Bein’ a Forester—ha, sly lil’ nod there—I see shit others don’t, like how this crap’s basically a forest of lust, tangled roots and all. Kinda reminds me of *The Tree of Life*, that flick I’m obsessed with—Terrence Malick’s masterpiece, 2011, all poetic and deep. “Where were you when I laid the foundations?”—that line hits, right? Makes me think sex-dating’s got its own weird foundations, primal as fuck.

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