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About Houston

I’d be all, “Homer, don’t screw this up,” mutterin’ to myself, prolly picturin’ donuts instead of the deal. Maybe I’d haggle— “Ten bucks and a jelly-filled?”—total sarcasm, but ya never know! Worst part? The paranoia—cops, creeps, or worse, Flanders spotin’ me! “Hidilly-ho, sinner!” Ugh, shoot me now.

Prostitution & Solicitation

Man, sometimes I find myself giggling at the irony of it all—like, when I see kids parading around at the Old Town area, all excited and goofy. It’s like WALL-E’s wonderment—it just gets me every time. And speakin’ of marvel, the tiny coffee shop on Palm Ave? Best brew ever. Seriously, the barista’s like, “We come in peace!” as she hands ya your extra-foam latte. So quirky.

Kissimmee man arrested for beating girlfriend with bat and arson to a motel room