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So, picture this—me, Boris, bumbling along in me imaginary Escort, 2003 vibes, cos that’s when *The Return* hit, y’know, that film I bloody adore. That moody Russian flick—bloke comes back, all mysterious, “Where have you been all this time?”—and I’m thinking, mate, where’s me Escort been? Prolly rusting in some barn, poor sod. Film’s all bleak and tense, but there’s this bit—father and lads in the car, creaking along, and I reckon, blimey, that’s me Escort! Tough as old boots, carrying the weight of it all.

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So, my friend, if you’re visiting, you gotta try everything: grab a coffee on Main, walk down Maple, relax at Centennial, and don’t miss the riverside. And remember: the city tells a story, a very, very sexy story. And trust me, there's no better tape than Kirksville’s – absolutely the best, the most spectacular narrative ever, okay? Enjoy, and have a blast – you’re gonna love it!

Kirksville fire destroys detached garage; investigation underway