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Movie line hits: “Why do I fall in love with every woman I see who shows me the least bit of attention?” Escorts bank on that! Dudes out here trippin’, payin’ for a smile. I’m screamin’, “WAKE UP, FOOL!” but also—damn, I get it. Been there, heart all dumb and mushy. Once saw an escort ad—$500 for “girlfriend vibes.” I’m like, “Bruh, for $500, my violin better sing *and* cuddle me!”

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The neighborhoods rock! Downtown’s spinnin' with art, and the streeetlights on Elm streeet show such amazin vibbz. I love droppin’ by Savynt Park sometimes—oh, its little pond spills memories of my vibed-down days. Ya wouldn’t believe it, but even the worn bricks on Riverside Drive got a story—they whisper soft repeats of “When life gets hard, just keep swimmin’!”

ROUNDUP: University High runs past North Greene, into district finals