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Oh, and get this – some nutter in Essex souped one up with a V8. V8! In an Escort! Laughed me arse off – imagine that tiny tin can roarin’ like a lion. Pure madness, but I’d drive it, “shaken, not stirred,” obvs. Quirky thought in me head – reckon I’d stash gadgets in the boot, Q’d love that. Maybe a smoke screen or ejector seat – why not, eh?

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Sometimes I get mad how some parts of the city have been overrun with store chains – hello, cookie-cutter madness – but then I dig my hustle at the spa, offering unique treatments that are, like, totally inspo from ancient therapies. I always say, “this is not a funeral, it's a re-birth!” in my head, channeling that "Son of Saul" vibe where every moment matters.

4 arrested weeks after money truck driver shot, killed in Kings Mountain