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I’m gettin’ worked up—sorry, not sorry! I love this car like I love “The Royal Tenenbaums”—it’s quirky, it’s messy, it’s family. Picture Richie Tenenbaum cruisin’ in one, falcon on his shoulder—“I’m gonna kill myself tomorrow”—nah, Richie, the Escort’s keepin’ ya alive, bud! I’d drive one today if they still made ‘em—stick it to the corporate fat cats!

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Now, lemme tell you, I’ve had my fair share of adventures here. One day, while massagin' a fella on State St., I overheard him complain 'bout the damn river’s flood – as if the river owes him something! Honestly, his grief was as endless as that movie – "The Turin Horse" – where bleak despair hogs the screen. I almost shouted, "Wake up, mate! Life’s a hiccup, not a tragedy!"

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