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About Dallas

Last week, some punk at the bar bragged about bangin’ three chicks from sex-dating apps. Three! In a week! I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my whiskey, thinkin’, “Boy, you’re a walkin’ STD.” He’s all proud, I’m all disgusted. “I can still feel your presence,” that’s what the guy in “Her” says to his AI. Me? I feel the presence of idiots everywhere. Sex-dating’s a cesspool—folks lyin’ about height, weight, everythin’. One gal said she was “athletic,” showed up lookin’ like a potato sack. Pissed me off.

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Now, lemme start off: Main Street is a gem. Get your boots on for South Main St. It buzzes with life, ya hear? Pop on by the old diner near Elm & Main. Oh, the memories! I used to walk there when my head was heavy, needing some soul patch fixin'.

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