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Love the oils, slippery as eels—smells like heaven, not Mordor stink. Favorite part? When they knead ya like dough—tensions pop, “Laughing on the outside, cryin’ within!” Movie line fits, see? Ever tried it with them hot stones? Burns so good—shocked me first time! Thought, “Gollum’s cookin’ alive!”—hilarious now, innit?

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So, check it — the main drag is Barcroft Avenue. I walk it almost every day, and lemme tell ya, it’s got personality. The little bistros and quirky shops along there make it feel like you’re in one big, happy secret, you know? Then there's Swing Avenue (yep, weird name, I know) — literally a shortcut to the waterfront. Oh my gawd, the views on the Raritan Bay? Insane! And don’t even get me started on the local park on Ocean Breeze Park — it's my secret chill-out spot. I used to sit there thinking, “I refuse to be defeated by gravity,” like a line straight outta The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, ha!

Baseball Recap: Keansburg's Undefeated Season over After Six Games