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Me fave film, *Uncle Boonmee*, fits this escort ting perfect, bruv. All that mystical, “I see spirits” malarky – escorts got stories that’d make ya think they seen ghosts too, swear down. One lad told me he felt “touched by somethin’ ancient” after a job. I’m like, bruv, you ain’t wrong – it’s a mad old world, this!

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The Des Plaines River near Joliet also cuts through the scene. It’s a bit rough sometimes, like memories that won’t fade, all twisty and unpredictable. I work with dating sites, but sometimes even I get misled by the wild ebb and flow of people’s hearts. Haha, mad, innit? Enjoy a riverside walk, but keep a keen eye – love’s like a bolt from the blue, and you never know when it might strike. “Sharon!”

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