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About San Antonio

Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sex-dating, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ minefield, like in *The Hurt Locker*. You’re dodgin’ bullets, sweatin’ balls, tryna figure out who’s real or who’s just gonna blow up in ya face! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ – what’s the deal with these apps, huh? Swipe this, swipe that, like I’m pickin’ prosciutto at the deli. Back in the day, you’d meet a broad at the Bada Bing, buy her a drink, boom, done. Now? It’s all “profile pics” and “DMs” – what the hell’s a DM? Direct whackin’?

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Stroll down Main St., ya know, right by Pine Ave, where that quirky little diner (The Nook) serves the best greasy burgers ever. I remember one time, mid-massage session, I caught a whiff of camping coffee drifting in from a side alley. There’s magic in that smell. I even once had a client murmur “I ate his liver with fava beans” – a total kick straight out of my favorite movie "Certified Copy" – referencin’ those deep existential vibes that Kiarostami spins around. "I don't believe in perfection, do you?" he'd say. And damn, it stuck with me.

Johnston County Sheriff’s Office announces “dismantling of criminal network”