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About Phoenix

So, I tried it once—ONCE! Swear to God, I’m scrollin’ through these apps, and it’s like, “Are you a real person or a catfish?” Ha! Catfish—get it? Ichthyologist humor! But seriously, half these profiles—fake as hell. Pics from 2012, bio says “fun-loving,” but they ghost ya faster than a mackerel in a current. I’m sittin’ there, yellin’ at my phone, “Gimme a sign you’re alive!” Nothin’. Infuriating! Made me wanna chuck my phone into the sea.

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Jessup’s got that little vibe down to the core. There's Jessup Road, winding like a secret path through the neighborhoods, you can almost hear the whispers of old stories there. And dude, Appleton Road? Crazy popular—full of knock-off diners and sketchy convenience stores that look like they might fall apart any minute. I once sat there munching a burger, thinking, “This ain't a scene from A History of Violence,” but lo, you know, sometimes you get life twistin' on ya.

The 66th Jessup sees record participation around the world