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I’m lyin’ there, right, and she’s kneadin’ my back—oh em gee, heaven! But then, ugh, she hits a knot and I’m, like, screamin’ in my head, “This hurts so good!” Kinda mad tho, ‘cause I paid for relaxin’, not a wrestle sesh. Still, when she’s done, I’m glowin’—skin poppin’, stress gone. “My humanity’s been restored,” I whisper, straight-up quotin’ Solomon again, ‘cause, like, dramatic much?

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So, like, start with the iconic Atlantic Ocean. The sandy stretch near Jacksonville Beach Blvd is epic. I remember vibin’ at the pier near 4th Street, watchin' surfers carve waves. It’s like in Tropical Malady, "the land of desire soars beyond reason," man!

Jacksonville Beach police warn against ‘unauthorized, unpermitted’ events as beaches see increase in activity