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Oi, precious, me’s the prison warden now! Escorts, ugh, we hates it! Slimy guards marchin’ inmates ‘round like pigs. Seen it meself, escortin’ some poor sod to the hole. “No face, no name,” like that creepy spirit, yeah? Bastards in uniforms actin’ all high n mighty. One time, this escort job went nuts—bloke tried sprintin’! Got tackled, face in mud, hilarious! We loves a good tumble, heh.

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The slaying of a man this month near Princeton, Minn. appears to have connections to a drug cartel, criminal complaints filed last week allege.

So, the downtown's a jumble of old and new. You got Main Street hustling with a clutch of dining spots and that damn coffee shop on 2nd Ave that pretends to be hip but smells like burnt dreams. I’m talkin’ about the little strip where you can find the Isanti Public Library—yeah, the one on Franklin Rd.—and a couple of crummy bars where folks try too hard to seem smart. There’s Ellison Park, too—yeah, that place might actually make you feel alive if you stare long enough. Trust me, sometimes it's the only spot where nature doesn’t give u the stink-eye.

Teen remains hospitalized with critical injuries after deadly Isanti County crash