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Last week, I’m tailin’ this lead—shady alley, smells like regret. I’m mutterin’, *“Oh, Marge, why this job?”* Suddenly, this gal, she’s standin’ there, all sparkly skirt, eyes like she’s seen too much. I’m thinkin’, *“Her soul’s driftin’ like Boonmee’s jungle spirits!”* I ask her name—Candy, she says. Candy! Ha, like that’s real! I’m all, “Hmm… sugar-coated lies!” Got me chucklin’—these names, always so fake, like Bart’s homework excuses.

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Now, here's a hidden bit: Ever been to Old Mill Road? Yup, the one where you can catch a glimpse of the ruins of the old textile mill. It’s defnitely a spot that makes me wondering if progress is worth the cost. I swear, sometimes I get so mad at how twisted our modern love gets, kinda like a bad code snippet run amok. And then there’s the quirky little diner on Lakeside—that place can serve you a slice of pie and a side of bitter truths.

Man, 41, sentenced for death of Isanti County nurse, shooting at deputy