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Now, lean in, here’s the quirky bit—I’m obsessin’ over their shoes, yeah? Always shiny, clickin’ like beetle wings. Why’s that stick in my head? Dunno, mate, but it’s hypnotic. Oh, and the stories! Heard one about an escort who nicked a bloke’s watch mid-date—cheeky minx! Laughed my arse off imaginin’ him chasin’ her, trousers half-down. Sarcasm? Sure, half these punters think they’re Casanova, but they’re just wallets with legs—escorts know it too, takin’ the piss behind their backs.

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Now, don’t get me started on Lake Irvington. Wow, its surface sometimes shimmers like spilled glitter on a dark night. I had this one moment—dude, I was so happy, then mad, then surprised—all in one go, thinkin’ about life with its weird twists. I kinda lost count of how many times I nearly choked on my own laugh, hahaha. But man, it's like… "La cabeza sin cabeza" vibes, you know, with a twist of existential wonder!

Irvington Starbucks temporarily closed for renovations, aiming for April reopening