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About Houston

Aight, listen up, you filthy animals! I’m Eric Cartman, bone cutter extraordinare, and I’m here to talk sex-dating, so respect my authoritah! This crap’s wild, ok? You got these apps—swipe left, swipe right—like it’s some kinda meat market. Makes me ragey as hell! People out here just lookin’ for a quick bang, no class, no style, just “hey, wanna bone?” Disgusting! But also… kinda genius? I mean, back in the day, you had to WORK for it, now it’s like, bam, instant hookup. Still pisses me off tho—where’s the respect?!

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I know I'm jabbering nonsense, but that's just how Irondale knocks me off my rocker. I tripped over my words like I trip on my shoelaces in a hurry. Srry for typos, mate – I'm in a rush, alright? Geez, mistakes are like this: err, smoe, umm, pleaae forgive me if I spwll a few wrong. Really, life is messy, isn’t it?

Lieutenant Mark Meadows, Irondale Police Department, Alabama