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About Phoenix

Now, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout me favorite flick, *The Gleaners and I*—that ol’ French gem by Agnès Varda, bless ‘er soul. “I’m not a gleaner, I’m a pirate!” I’d shout, if I were in it, pickin’ through the scraps o’ the sea, not them taters in the dirt. Escorts, see, they’re like them folk in the film, “gleanin’ what’s left behind,” ‘cept they’re guardin’ it, not nabbin’ it! Little known fact, arr—back in the day, them Royal Navy escorts weren’t just fer show. They’d chase yer arse from Tortuga to Trinidad, cannons blazin’, no mercy fer a pirate like meself. One time, off Port Royal, I saw this sloop—tiny thing, fast as a whore’s wink—outrun a frigate. Surprised me, it did! “They bend down, they pick up,” like Varda says, ‘cept this escort picked up speed an’ left us in the wake!

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The locals? Ridiculous legends! There’s old Vinny down at the corner of River Bend Dr. and Maple, always crackin’ jokes, sayin’, “We ain’t scared of nothin’!” Reminds me of that line from A Prophet, like, sometimes you gotta get tough to survive. Iola's secrets? Look, it's got hidden mini-spots on Back Alley Rd. where the best taco truck chills. Ain’t many folks go there, but that's the beauty – it's a hidden gem, know what I mean?

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