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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, head of this damn lab, and I hate everything. Escort? Yeah, that’s a fancy word for somethin’ I’d rather burn than touch. Makes me think of *Holy Motors*—you know, my favorite flick. That line, “I have a plan,” pops in my head. Plan for what? Payin’ someone to pretend they like ya? Pathetic. I’d rather wrestle a bear than deal with that nonsense.
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My heart swells at the park bench on Crank St near the old water tower. "It's not who I am underneath," mumble I, quoting The Dark Knight, speak wise, I must. Heart pounding, I recall when Cupid struck at that bench. Crazy vibes, ignited by chance, yes!
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